Just Like You
by smartyjonescrzy
Summary: Gomer's five-year-old son, Vincent Pyle, is a troublemaker by nature. His fun at the base, however, is short-lived when he becomes lost in the survival camp. Just a short, cute story based off of the song 'Just Like You' by George Canyon.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own 'Gomer Pyle, USMC' and all related items. Those rights belong to CBS.**

**Chapter 1**

Five-year-old Vincent Pyle glanced both ways surreptitiously before quietly tiptoeing into his parents' room. He looked over at the alarm clock on the nightstand next to the bed. Five hundred and fifty-nine hours. He pulled himself up onto the foot of the bed and sat there, smiling at his mother and father. The pre-dawn light of the fading moon shone over the bed's occupants, who were still resting peacefully in each other's arms. Unceremoniously, the boy rose to his feet and began hopping up and down on the bed. "Wake up! Wake up!"

At that moment, the clock changed to oh-six hundred. The alarm buzzed loudly from its spot on the nightstand. Gomer and Lou Ann Pyle slowly sat up, moaning groggily. When the effects of sleep had worn off, which only took a matter of moments, Gomer pushed his hair out of his eyes and smiled at his son. "Hey, Vincent."

The boy immediately sat down on the bed and threw his arms wide. "Good mornin', good mornin', good mornin'!"

"Good mornin' to you, too, Vincent." Gomer turned to his wife and gave her a quick kiss. "Good mornin', Lou Ann." He stood up out of bed and jerked a thumb toward their son, grinning. "You know what? We really ought to do somethin' about him gettin' us up ever' mornin'. The early hours cain't be too good for him."

"Never you mind, Major Pyle." Lou Ann laughed, scooping the boy into her arms. Gomer took his uniform and disappeared into the bathroom.

"Is your sister up?" She asked him, kissing his forehead and running her hand through his tangled black locks.

"Ma…" Vincent pushed her hand away, a sour expression on his face. "Millie ain't up yet. She sleeps too much."

"She does, mmm?" Lou Ann smiled lovingly at the boy and patted his back. "Then we better be careful we don't wake her up. Why don't you go pick out what to wear an' I'll be in to help you in a minute." She pushed him toward the door, moving over to her closet as she did so.

"Ma, you don't got to. I cain dress all by myself!" He cried, sprinting for his room. A second later, a loud cry issued from the direction of Millicent Pyle's room. Lou Ann repressed a laugh and shook her head. "So much for bein' quiet."

Vincent bounded into his room and threw a shirt over his head. He got tangled in the sleeves and wrestled with it for a minute. His head got stuck and one arm made it through a very large sleeve while the other was still caught in the shirt's folds. Unabated, he reached for his overalls with his one free hand. He tried stepping into them, but only succeeded in putting one foot through. When he tried pulling them up, he fell to the floor in a muddled heap. "Maaa!"

Lou Ann ran into the room and immediately stooped down to peer at her son. "Vinny, what did I tell you to do? You should have waited for me!" She slowly began helping him put his clothes on the correct way. "You're so impatient!"

"But I got to show Daddy somethin'!" Vincent persisted, hopping up and down anxiously as his mother fastened the buckles of his overalls.

"Well, it's jus' gonna have to wait a minute." She murmured gently, grabbing a comb and swiftly parting his thick black hair to the right.

"But I don't wanna! Ma? Why cain't I wear my clothes when I go to sleep? Then I won't have to put 'em on in the mornin'!"

Lou Ann smiled and patted his back. "Because then there wouldn't be any need for your other clothes. Now, go on downstairs an' eat your breakfast. An' don't you dare slide down that banister again! The last thing I need is for you to go breakin' your neck."

"I won't!" Vincent cried, grabbing his baseball cap and hurtling toward the staircase at the end of the hall. He glanced over his shoulder to see if his mother was still watching, but she had already disappeared into his sister's room. Grinning, he turned around and straddled the banister, sliding all the way down to the bottom.

"You know your ma don't like for you to do that."

Vincent hopped off and barreled into the kitchen. "I know, Daddy. But I's careful. Besides, I got somethin' real important to tell you! You ain't gonna tell, are you?" He stopped short and stared questioningly up at the tall figure of his father.

Gomer tried to appear stern, but a grin forced its way across his face. He winked at the boy knowingly. "How cain I? Far as I'm concerned, I never seen you come down."

Vincent's face lit up. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He reached out and hugged Gomer's khaki pant leg.

He turned to see his mother carrying Millie down the stairs. When he looked back again, his father was almost halfway to the door. "Daddy, wait!" He called, running to catch up with him. "Ain't you gonna eat breakfast?"

"I packed it, Vincent." Gomer smiled, holding up a brown paper sack. "I got to get to the office early today. Duke an' I got some reports to run over this mornin'."

"But I got somethin' real important to tell you!" Vincent cried in dismay.

"Cain it wait till tonight?"

The boy shook his head ruefully.

"Come eat your breakfast, Vinny." Lou Ann said gently, helping Millie into her chair at the table.

"Ma, cain't I go with Daddy to the office? I got somethin' real important to tell him!" Vincent protested.

"Actually, I don't know if you should." His mother wiped her hands on her apron and cast a worried glance at her husband. "You might jus' be gettin' underfoot."

"Please, Ma! I promise not to get in any trouble!"

"It's okay, Lou Ann. I'll send the little feller straight home if he gets too out of hand." Gomer laid a hand on her arm reassuringly before giving her a final kiss in parting. "Have a nice day, Lou Ann."

"Bye. Have fun." She smiled, pushing him toward the door.

Gomer paused beside his daughter and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Goodbye, Princess."

"Bye-bye, Daddy!"

Before Vincent could say anything, Lou Ann pulled him aside and placed an orange and a banana in his hand. "You eat your fruit for breakfast, Vinny. It's very good for you. An' I want to promise me you'll be on your very best behavior for Daddy at the office. Okay?"

Vincent grinned, the earnestness of his expression mirroring that of his father. "Don't worry, Ma. I'll be real good for you. I won't slide down no banisters."

She shook her head and drew him into a brief hug. "I know you won't, Vinny. Oh, you're so much like your daddy."

"Ma…"

She turned him around and pushed him in the direction of his father. "Go!"

She smiled and stood as Vincent ran right out the door and down the short walk toward the rest of the base outside. Gomer turned around and gave her a small wave before following suit, closing the door behind him.

"Come on, Daddy!"

Gomer looked up to see Vincent already halfway up the row, jumping up and down impatiently. "Now, don't get too far ahead, Vincent! I don't want you gettin' lost!"

"I won't! Hurry up!" The boy called, dashing off in the direction of the CO offices.

-

They soon arrived at the complex, walked up one flight of stairs and down some narrow corridors to arrive at the door labeled, 'MAJ. GOMER PYLE.' Gomer had just pulled out the key to unlock it when Lieutenant Colonel Slater ran right up to the pair, panting and out of breath.

"Oh, good, Gomer, you're here! I thought you'd never show up! Listen, we're gonna have to really work fast if we want to get these reports finished up by fourteen hundred hours! I've already found five sections that need to be revised immediately! Say, did you get that statistical datasheet from Captain Nielson the other day? We need that to check the numbers and he said…"

"Sure, I got it, Duke." Gomer smiled and turned the key, opening the door. The trio stepped inside as he flipped on the light switch. "You got to calm down. We'll get them papers finished up in plenty of time." He turned and hung his peaked cap on a nail by the door.

"Glad you can laugh about it. I'm not!" Lieutenant Colonel Gilbert 'Duke' Slater groaned and plopped down in a chair, tiredly running a hand through his thinning brown hair.

"Goll-ly, you sure don't sound too happy this mornin'." Gomer lifted his son up to perch on top of his desk and frowned at his best friend. "Did the baby keep you up again?"

Duke closed his eyes and slowly nodded his head. "Gosh, I wish she'd learn how to sleep at night." His three-month-old daughter, Starr, was known to quietly nap by day and become a wailing monster for her parents to attend to by night. "I stayed up reading over the whole report to her and even _that _didn't put her to sleep! Morgan's been shoving all this herbal calming stuff in my face just to keep me sane in the morning. You know what sleep deprivation does to a guy?" He moaned.

"Aw, bless her heart." Gomer sat down and slowly pulled several folders out from his desk drawer. "Well, I sure hope she gets better, Duke. You need a good night's rest."

"You're telling me." He mumbled sarcastically.

"Daddy, Daddy, cain I tell you now?" Vincent turned around and expectantly faced his father.

Gomer glanced from his son to Duke, then back again. "Maybe after we get a good start on these here reports…"

"Aw, but Daddy…"

"How about you go ahead an' eat your breakfast first?" Gomer pointed to the fruit Vincent still held in his hand. "By the time you're done, I'll be ready to hear you, I promise."

The boy sighed and turned to picking at his orange peel. He tapped his sneakers against the desk listlessly, humming a tune underneath his breath. He couldn't hardly wait to tell his father the news. He tried amusing himself by listening in on the two men's conversation, but he didn't understand any of what they were saying. He very quickly grew bored. He let his eyes wander around the office, studying each of the items in it closely, thinking a little bit about why they were there.

He'd rarely been in his father's office before; so much of it was unfamiliar to him. The walls were a bland shade of pale gray while the desk and shutters were a dark brown. His metal filing cabinets were covered with pictures and crafts projects his children had made in kindergarten and preschool, noticeably livening up the room. The walls were covered with photos of his family and of friends also stationed at the base. On the window ledge sat pictures of Vincent and Millie that had been taken in school, with a picture of both of them sitting with their father in the middle. A note tucked inside the frame lining it proclaimed, 'No. 1 Dad.' On top of the cabinet closest to the door stood pictures of his father meeting very important dignitaries. Twice he'd gotten to go to Washington and meet the President. On the wall hung a picture taken on his most recent trip, showing the major shaking hands with the current president, Gerald Ford. On his desk sat the scarlet and gold nameplate reading, 'MAJOR GOMER PYLE.' On one side was a glass paperweight in the shape of an automobile perching on top of a pile of papers. On the other side was a large black-and-white photograph of Lou Ann looking very coy. It was turned facing where Gomer now sat.

Vincent turned his attention back to his father, who now was sitting very far back in his chair, a worried frown creasing his face. He rested his chin on one hand while he aimlessly twirled a pencil with the other. "Wait a minute, now, Duke. Let me see if I cain get this straight: you're sayin' we put in these figures, but hold off on these here bigger ones till the end. That right?"

"Yeah, the report will be more effective that way."

"All right. Then that's gonna mean that we have to retype the last page, an' add Captain Neilson's research as one of the sources…" Gomer leaned forward and made some notations on a paper stretched out in front of him.

"Have you re-read section two yet, Gome? It's really weak. I say we completely redo it or throw it out altogether." Duke added, flipping through several typed pages.

"Wait." Gomer massaged his temple, frustrated with the confusion mounting in his mind over the report. "Which one is section two again?"

Vincent hopped down off of the desk and threw his peelings away in the wastebasket. "Okay! I'm ready, Daddy!"

"Could you hang on for jus' a minute, son?" Gomer held up a finger as he scanned back over the troublesome section two.

Vincent huffed angrily. "But Daddy, you promised!"

"I sure did, didn't I?" Gomer sighed and set his pencil on his desk. "All right, Vincent. What do you got to show me?"

"Gomer are you crazy? The report…!" Duke pointed to the clock worriedly.

"A promise is a promise, Duke. Besides, it'll only take about a minute." He glanced at his friend before turning to his son once more.

"Guess what, guess what, guess what?" Vincent cried, excitedly gripping the edge of the desk.

Gomer smiled. "What?"

The boy straightened proudly. "I learned all the words to the Marine's Hymn, all by myself!"

"You did?" Gomer's eyes lit up happily. "Well, goll-ly, Vincent! That's wonderful!"

Duke rolled his eyes. "You put everything on hold for _that?"_

"You want me to sing it for you?" Vincent grinned, pleased that his father was happy with his monumental accomplishment.

"Of course I do!" Gomer laughed. "Go on ahead!"

But just as the boy opened his mouth to begin, a staff sergeant carrying a manila folder walked into the office. He stopped before the desk and saluted Gomer and Duke. "Lieutenant Colonel Slater, Major Pyle, the Colonel requests your presence in his office at once."

"Thank you, Sergeant." Duke murmured as they both returned the salute. "Dismissed."

The man turned on his heel and had gone just as soon as he had come.

Gomer pushed up his sleeve and glanced at his watch. "That's right, Duke! I jus' plain forgot all about that meetin' we was supposed to have. We're already five minutes late!" He quickly stood and moved toward the door.

"Great. We already got him steamed at us. His mood definitely won't improve when we tell him we won't have this report ready in time." Duke shook his head sadly.

"Wait! What about my song?" Vincent protested.

"I'll jus' have to listen to you sing it later, all right? Daddy's real busy right now." Gomer resignedly patted his son's back before heading outside.

"But what am I supposed to do?" Vincent sat down on the floor and pouted.

Gomer stopped and turned around to face him, an admonishing look on his face. "You ain't supposed to sit on the floor, Vincent. It ain't proper. Remember what your ma done told you about bein' a proper young gentleman?"

Vincent nodded, brushing his pants off as he slowly stood. "I'm sorry, Daddy. But what do I do?"

"Well…" Gomer thought for a minute before answering. "You cain go home an' play with Millie."

"But Millie's a sissy baby!" Vincent crossed his arms, frowning.

Gomer sighed, stooping down to the boy's level. "Vincent, remember what we told you about callin' people names that ain't nice?"

He looked down at the floor. "Yeah. I remember, Daddy."

"You know it ain't nice to call your sister or anyone else mean names." Gomer fought to meet his son's gaze, finally succeeding and holding it. "Now, if I hear you do it again, I'll have to put you in a time-out, you understand?"

The boy nodded, uncomfortably scuffling the floor with his feet. "Yes, Daddy."

"You jus' go on home now an' I promise to listen to you later, all right?" Gomer smiled and waited a moment for an answer before Duke's irritated cry forced him to turn and hurry down the hall for the meeting he was already late for.

Vincent slowly exited the office and began dragging his feet home. He knew he shouldn't have called his sister a sissy baby, but he always got bored when he had to play with his sister. They didn't have much in common. She didn't want to play 'forts and soldiers' and he didn't want to play 'doll house.' The only things they really could do together were play in the sandbox or go for a ride in the wagon. And Vincent did _not _feel like pulling his sister in the wagon all over the base.

He was mulling over what he could possibly do when a ball suddenly crossed his path. He looked up in the direction it came from to see a small toddler in short pants come running after it. He smiled and waved. "Hey, Will."

Will Slater stopped and gave the boy a gap-toothed smiled. "Hey, Vinny."

"You doin' anythin'?"

"Playing boingy!" The three-year-old answered. "You wanna play boingy?"

Vincent shook his head. "Naw, not really. Thanks for askin', though." Will's game of 'boingy' mainly consisted of bouncing a ball back and forth until you got sick of it or the ball got lost, either one would suffice. Vincent considered it the dullest game ever created, but he still played it for the sake of his friend. Though he hated to admit it, there had been times when he'd played the game and lost the ball on purpose to avoid hurting Will's feelings.

"Okay." The boy shook his head, his light brown hair falling forward over his eyes. Tufts stuck out over his ears and in the back, giving him a silly appearance. A light smattering of freckles covered his nose and dimples. He wore a bright tie-dye shirt over khaki shorts that were fastened with a tiny belt. He had the smile and high cheekbones of his father and the refined nose and laughing green eyes of his mother. Though only two years younger than his friend, it felt like there wasn't even the slightest age difference in the pair. He and Vincent had grown up together from the very beginning, due to the close association of their fathers. Needless to say, it hadn't taken them long at all to form a friendship as strong as that of Gomer and Duke.

"What do we do?" He presently turned and looked for an answer from his older and wiser companion. He had quickly learned that Vincent came up with the best plans for the pair.

Vincent shrugged. "I don't know. I had somethin' real important to tell my daddy, but I got kicked outta his office. He was _busy." _Suddenly, his countenance brightened. "Hey, I know what we cain do! We cain go see the Sergeant!"

Will smiled. "Yeah!"

Vincent beckoned with his hand and began running off in the direction of the barracks. "Well, let's go, then! Come on!"

'The Sergeant' was what the boys called Gunnery Sergeant Vincent Carter. They knew the route to his office and platoon barracks very well. It was a place they often frequented. On occasion, Carter would even tolerate the boys falling in behind the platoon and drilling with them. Though he always pretended to be upset or indifferent when they unexpectedly dropped in, Vincent knew the man better. Sergeant Carter pretended to be tough, but he was truly a wonderful person.

In a matter of mere minutes, the two had entered through the back door of the duty hut and were sneaking up on Corporal Lester Hummel. He was seated at his desk doing paperwork, his back turned to the children. He was caught completely unaware as they crept up and tackled him, squealing gleefully.

"Say, what sort of hijinks are you two delinquents about?" He cried as they descended upon him.

Vincent laughed and shook his head. "Lester, you's always usin' funny words that I don't know what they mean."

"Where's the Sergeant?" Will asked.

Lester nodded toward the barracks. "Running his customary inspection of the barracks. Though I must say he isn't in the most jovial of spirits this morning." He leaned close and placed a hand at his mouth, murmuring in a stage whisper, "Mrs. Carter is here."

"Godmama Bunny?" Vincent's face lit up excitedly. "Shazaam! What good news!" He turned to Will and explained. "She's the lady what's always makin' cookies for us an' owns that big white dog you like to ride on."

Will's little jaw dropped. "Oh, boy!"

"Yeah." Vincent turned and looked out the window. "The only problem is she likes to pinch my cheeks an' talk to me like I was a three-year-old."

"I resent that!" Will crossed his arms indignantly.

"Well, it would appear someone reaps the benefits of acquisitioning a full and rich vocabulary." Lester smiled at the children before turning back to his paperwork.

At that moment, Sergeant Carter breezed into the duty hut, his wife Bunny right at his heels. He took off his cover and set it on his chair, a pained expression on his face. Bunny's mouth was running nonstop.

"…And that Mrs. Farnsworth is simply detestable! She's getting on my last nerve! Just because she's a lieutenant's wife, she thinks she's better than everyone else. Well, she's got nothing on me! And I know it's her kids that go running through my flower beds _on purpose _every day! Those brats have ruined ten of my petunias this week alone. Ten! Why, I've half a mind to go out there and…" She stopped, her voice trailing off as she caught sight of the boys. "Hi, Little Vinny!"

The boy gave her a tentative smile. "Hey, Godmama Bunny."

"Aren't you cute this morning, little Vinny Winny Boy!" She stooped down in front of him and pinched his cheeks, making him grimace. "Did Vinny come all the way here to see Godmama? Did you come to see Godmama? That's so sweet!" She gave him a wet kiss and turned to Will. "And look who else is here! Willy Billy Nilly Boy! You're so small! Aren't you just adorable?"

Vincent smiled sympathetically at his friend as Bunny waggled his cheeks.

"Have you eaten yet this morning?" She looked at the two expectantly.

"Yes'm, we did." Vincent nodded.

"What are you doing out here? You two out looking for trouble?" Bunny laughed.

"No'm, we's jus' playin'."

She smiled. "You silly boys." She stood. "Well, I know all that playing is bound to make you hungry really soon. I'll go home right now and fix you up a fresh batch of cookies for later on, all right?" Without waiting for an answer, she turned and left the duty hut in the direction of her house.

Carter breathed a sigh of relief. "I owe you two one."

"Hey, Sergeant!" Vincent smiled, finally getting to acknowledge his godfather for the first time.

Carter rolled his eyes. The boy's voice was a high-pitched carbon copy of his father's. "Hello, Vincent."

"Sergeant Carter! Sergeant Carter, guess what?" He clamored excitedly as Carter sat down at his desk.

"What? What?" He grumbled in exasperation as he picked up his reading glasses, turning to the papers lying on his desk.

"I know all the words to the Marine Hymn! I learned 'em all by myself! Wanna hear 'em?"

"Sure, sure." He muttered distractedly.

Will and Corporal Hummel turned to watch as Vincent climbed up and stood on the chair facing Carter's desk. He cleared his throat and began, straightening his back and squaring his shoulders as he did so.

_"From the halls of Mon-ta-zoo-o-mer to the shores of Tri-po-lee._

_We-e fight our coun-try's ba-a-tles on the land an' on the sea._

_First to fight for right an' free-e-dom, an' to keep our honor clean,_

_We is proud to claim the ti-itle of United States Marines!"_

Vincent grinned and saluted the sergeant when he was through.

Hummel smiled. "Say, considering your age, that was an excellent rendition!"

Carter glanced at the boy slyly, the ghost of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Pretty good, Vincent. But do you know the rest?"

"The rest?" The boy's face fell. "You mean there's more?"

"Sure." He turned and nodded at Lester. "Hummel, sing the second verse."

The corporal slowly pointed at himself, shaking his head. "But Sarge, I…"

"Sing! Sing!"

"If I must." Hummel resignedly cleared his throat and began:

_"Our flag's unfurled to every breeze from dawn to setting sun._

_We have fought in every clime and place where we could take a gun._

_In the snow of far-off Northern lands, and in sunny tropic scenes,_

_You will find us always on the job, the United States Marines."_

"That's good, Hummel. I'll take the last one." Carter gestured for the corporal to sit down, and, much to everyone's chagrin, took up the song in his terrible, off-key whine:

_"Here's health to you and to our Corps, which we are proud to serve._

_In many a strife we've fought for life and never lost our nerve."_

He paused and laughed. "Kids, this is the best part of the whole song!" He exclaimed before continuing:

_"If the Army and the Navy ever look on heaven's scenes,_

_They will find the streets are guarded by United States Marines."_

Hummel slowly uncovered his ears. "That was…exemplary, Sergeant."

"Shazaam," Vincent breathed. "I guess I'd better learn the whole song, huh?"

Carter shrugged and was about to reply when Lieutenant Farnsworth entered the duty hut.

"Ten _hut!" _Hummel cried, rising with alacrity. All occupants of the room stood straight and tall at attention, including the two boys.

"Very good, Sergeant. Thinking about going out for the glee club?" Farnsworth chuckled. "As you were."

The men relaxed. "You wanted to see me, sir?" Carter asked expectantly. As far as personal opinion went, he heartily disliked the young lieutenant and trusted him only as far as he could throw Sergeant Hacker. But seeing as the man lived right next to him on the base, he always gave a very tolerant and cordial appearance toward him, especially when he was on duty.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. I've got a special detail here that your platoon's been selected to complete. You know those war games we're having out in the survival camp tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Carter nodded, encouraging the man to go on.

"The Colonel doesn't want anyone straying off the grounds by accident or getting lost like they did the last time." Farnsworth could hardly suppress his laughter. "He wants your men to go out and set these markers out around the perimeter detailed by this map." He handed him the map and a large handful of bright orange nylon strips. "_If _you can handle it, that is!"

"Aye, aye, sir. I'll get on it right away, sir." Carter saluted him sharply. "And may I compliment you on your children, sir. They have to be the most well behaved kids on this entire base."

Farnsworth returned it. "Right. Carry on, Sergeant. Make sure you don't get lost out in those big, bad woods, now, you hear?" He laughed, turning and slowly ambling away.

Carter shook his head. "Who does that guy think he is, anyway?" He sat down again at his desk, grumbling under his breath.

"Well, that shall certainly make for a most diverting evening." Hummel stretched lazily.

"Cain we go with you, Sergeant? Cain we?" Vincent cried, his face alight with excitement.

"Please! Please!" Will added.

"I don't know. What if you two goofs just get into trouble?" Carter frowned at them. "Why don't you go home and play with your sisters or something?"

"Because Millie is a…" Vincent's voice trailed off as he remembered the warning his father had given him earlier. "We jus' don't got a lot in common, is all." He finished lamely, scuffling his feet.

"And my sister just sleeps and eats. She's boring." Will spoke up, nodding in agreement with his friend.

"We'll see. And only if you keep out of trouble until then, you hear?" Carter gave them both a warning look as they nodded earnestly.

"You cain count on us, Sergeant! We won't make no trouble." Vincent began hopping up and down impatiently once more. "What's next on the duty roster, Sergeant? Drillin'? A hike? Rifle practice?"

"Tetanus shots." He replied.

"Yuck!" Both boys' hands instinctively went to their arms. They glanced at each other and grimaced. They hated shots!

"Of course, you're welcome to come along with us, if you'd like." Carter smiled smugly.

Vincent, his brown eyes wide with fear, turned to his companion. Each boy knew what the other was thinking. "Um…n-no thank you, Sergeant. Will an' me, uh, we'll jus' go on an' find somethin' else to do."

With that, the two turned tail and darted from the duty hut as fast as they possibly could.

Carter's laugh reverberated throughout the room while Corporal Hummel simply smiled and shook his head. "Sadistic, Sergeant. Facilely sadistic."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The boys paused to catch their breath. After they'd straightened and taken a look around, Will turned to his friend. "What do we do now?"

"Hmm." Vincent thought long and hard for a minute before he slowly grinned. "I jus' thought of a mean joke for us to play on Sergeant Hacker!"

The boys were also well acquainted with Staff Sergeant Charlie Hacker from Company C. He was the mess sergeant who gave them all sorts of lunches and dinners when they ate with the servicemen. Vincent's father had told him that Sergeant Hacker was awfully tricky, but he made the best cupcakes of anyone he knew. The boys, in turn, loved to make nuisances of themselves in Hacker's kitchen. Hacker tricked and joked along with them constantly. Will thought he simply had the funniest grape jokes and laughed at them every time.

They discussed their plan briefly before running excitedly toward the kitchen.

Hacker was just showing one of the privates how to mix the ingredients for the soup they were serving that evening when the two breezed in through one of the side doors. "Look Sarge," The private nodded. "Marine brats at two o' clock."

Hacker turned around and gave the new arrivals a disarming smile. "Well, Young Pyle and Young Slater! What brings you to my kitchen at this time of day?"

"To hear your new jokes! Got any?" Will jumped up and down anxiously.

"I sure do." He crouched down to look the boy in the eyes. "What's purple and eight hundred pages long?"

"I don't know. What is it?" Will shrugged cutely.

"_Moby Grape."_

Will began laughing hysterically, even though he hadn't gotten the joke at all. "That's funny!"

"Is that all?" Vincent asked. "Golly, Sergeant Hacker, you surely got somethin' better than that."

"Of course! You know me too well." Hacker turned his attention toward Vincent. Unbeknownst to him, the boy had just given a signal with his hand to Will, who'd carefully slunk away.

"Cain I hear your best new joke, Sergeant? Your very, very best new joke?"

"Hmmm…let me think about that for a minute…" He grinned and pointed to the floor. "Oh, look, your shoe's untied!"

Will took a package of fly-stick papers and began setting them down on the floor.

"You cain't fool me, Sergeant Hacker. My shoes ain't untied. My daddy made sure they was double-knotted 'fore we left the house this mornin'."

"Looks like you're getting too smart for me. I guess I'll have to settle on my best knock-knock joke instead."

"An' what one is that?"

Will struggled with carrying the fire extinguisher so that it wouldn't make a noise, carefully setting it down next to the large table full of baked goods.

"Knock-knock."

Vincent glanced out the corner of his eye at Will, who gave him the thumbs up sign, and smiled. "Who's there?"

"Sam and Janet."

"Sam an' Janet who?"

_"Sam and Janet evening…" _Hacker crooned to the tune of 'Some Enchanted Evening.'

Vincent laughed. "Hey, that was purdy funny, Sergeant Hacker!"

At that point, Will pulled the fire alarm and began spraying the room with the fire extinguisher. The kitchen erupted into utter chaos. Privates began running to and fro, trying to find the source of the commotion. Hacker began shouting at the top of his voice. They slowed down as cumbersome fly-stick papers became attached to their feet. Vincent and Will darted up to the dessert table and grabbed as many goodies as they could. When they could carry no more, they turned and darted out the door they had come through.

"You darned kids! I'll get you for this!" Hacker cried, realizing he'd been duped.

The two simply laughed and made off with their treasure.

-

The boys ran until they were far from Hacker's kitchen. Then they sat down underneath a tree and began devouring their treats. They spent a few minutes eating in companionable silence before they were full and bored once again.

"Now what?" Vincent sat down and pouted. He got bored very easily. It seemed as though he never really enjoyed being a young boy like everyone else his age. Living on a Marine base made him different, he guessed. Seeing all the men training and working in their military careers day in and day out made him envious. That must have been it. He couldn't enjoy being a boy because he was overanxious to become a man. He yearned to grow up really fast and join up so he could be just like them.

Will lay stretched out beside him, gazing up at the clouds. He was still very young and easily guided by the people around him. He didn't mind if people were poking fun at him or laughing along with him, so long as he was enjoying it. He'd been raised to think that he should only do what pleased him, and he felt secure with this one rule to keep in mind. He hadn't as of yet been bit by the military bug like Vincent had. "Look at the puffy sheep." He pointed lazily.

Vincent glanced up at the cloud his friend had indicated and shook his head. "Naw. That ain't no sheep. That looks more like my Gran'ma Poovie's hairdo."

"Wanna go play in the creek?" Will sat up on his elbows.

"We played in the creek yesterday." Vincent picked up a stone and threw it across the way. "How about we go see what Sergeant Boyle's doin'?"

Will shrugged and stood up. "I guess." He liked Sergeant Boyle, but hanging around the adult Marines got boring for him. He would have rather played in the creek, watched cartoons, or even started another round of boingy. But he would do whatever his friend did. The one thing he hated more than boredom was being left alone and behind.

"Let's go!" Vincent cried, dashing off toward the office in question.

-

"Hey, Carter! Heard your platoon got assigned to map out the war games area for tomorrow! Plan on getting the edge over us, are you?"

Carter frowned down the quarter at Sergeant Chuck Boyle, whose platoon had soundly beaten his the last three exercises in a row. "Aw, shut up, Boyle!"

Boyle held up his hands. "I'm not complaining. You need all the edge you can get. Maybe it'll make things more interesting this time."

"Why don't you lay your money where your big mouth is?" Carter snarled grumpily.

Boyle shook his head and grinned. "No thanks, Sarge. I'll leave all the wagering to you and Hacker."

"What's the matter, Boyle? Getting soft?"

When the sergeant's head disappeared back into his duty hut, Carter laughed and turned back to his own platoon.

After Boyle had withdrawn his head, he turned around to find the two young troublemakers standing right in the middle of his office. He placed his hands on his hips, trying to appear annoyed. "And just what are you guys doing here?"

"We was bored." Vincent answered simply. "What you doin', Sergeant?"

"Sorting papers. And it's not a fun job, either." Boyle sat back down at his desk. The young, dark-haired sergeant had been a former corporal of Carter's. He was well known for his brilliant tactics when it came to solving problems. Though behind the rest of the sergeants in age, he roused jealousy because he eclipsed them in everything else. "Well, seeing as you just missed Corporal Anderson taking the men out for a hike, I guess you could help me out in here. If you're really that bored, I suppose."

"Okay!" Vincent cried happily, eager to be put to work. Will shuffled along behind him, far more reluctant than his friend to help the sergeant sort papers.

"What cain I do?" The boy clamored anxiously.

"Hmm, let's see…" Boyle studied his desk and thought for a moment. Then, his face alight with inspiration, he picked up an object from the corner of his desk. "I've got the perfect job for you."

"What? What?" Vincent hopped up and down, holding his hands out in front of him eagerly.

In them, Boyle placed a bulky, crank-handled paper shredder.

-

"Hot dog," Vincent grumbled some hours later, listlessly turning the handle of the paper shredder. He sat on the floor of Boyle's duty hut, the machine seated on the floor in front of him. Will sat nearby, drawing pictures on the backs of some of the sheets, waiting to empty the shredder when it got full (for that was his job). Sergeant Boyle was out back, cleaning out bits and pieces of trash from the bottom of his footlocker.

Much as Vincent hated to admit it, the work was boring him to tears. He looked longingly at the fading light of late afternoon outside and wished for a brief moment that he had taken Will up on his suggestion. They could have been playing and relaxing in the cool, deep water of the creek by now, lazily watching the sun set as they swung out and over in the tire swing their fathers had helped them put up by the water's edge. They would have been diving underwater, marveling at the aquatic life that called it their home, and getting so wet and muddy that they'd be laughing over what their mothers would say when they came home. Vincent shook his head. Oh, well. The die was cast. He'd gotten them into this mess to begin with. He had a moral obligation to finish what he'd started.

He began turning the handle with renewed purpose, pausing only to dump the box's shredded contents on the floor for his companion to throw away. "Come on, Will. Let's get this done fast an' get outta here."

Will hopped up, carrying the scraps in his arms over to the wastebasket. As he freed himself of his burden and turned back around, he accidentally knocked over a salt shaker sitting on the edge of a nearby table. It crashed to the floor, spilling its contents in a heap in front of him.

"Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!" The boy cried, quickly stooping down and tossing a pinch of it over his shoulder.

Vincent smiled. "You gonna get to be as bad as my Great-Gran'ma Pyle."

Will stopped for a minute, a sly expression slowly spreading over his face. "Hey. Is Sergeant Boyle still outside?"

Vincent paused. "Yeah. Why?"

Will swiftly moved over to the sergeant's desk and poured the remaining salt in Boyle's coffee cup.

"Sergeant Boyle's gonna be mad." Vincent said solemnly before grinning. "Now let's sweep up the rest an' put it in his coffee machine!"

He jumped up to help his friend. With the two of them working together, they were able to efficiently carry out their plan and tidy up by the time Boyle came walking back inside.

"Still hard at work, I see." He smiled at the children on the floor as he leaned against his desk.

Vincent spoke up. "Sergeant Boyle, cain I ask you a question?"

Boyle shrugged and picked up his coffee cup. "Shoot, kid."

"Sergeant Carter says you is a real smart feller. The smartest feller he knows. Smarter than Lester, even!"

Boyle smiled, basking in the praise. "Go on."

"What makes you so much smarter? You's the best strategist on this entire base!"

"Carter say that?" The sergeant asked casually, raising the cup to his mouth.

"No, sir. My daddy did."

Boyle lowered the cup again, looking pleased. "Oh. _Your _father? _Major Pyle _said that?"

Vincent slowly nodded. "Uh-huh. How do you do it, Sergeant Boyle? How come you cain take somethin' what's simple an' come up with somethin' no one cain figure out?"

"I see what's going on here." Boyle turned and looked out the door. "Carter's sicced his little spies on me."

Vincent cocked his head in confusion. "Sarge?"

"You don't have to keep up the act any longer, kid. I know what's up." Boyle shook his head disgustedly. "This scam has got 'Vince Carter' written all over it. Thought I was gonna tell you what I'm planning for the exercises, did he? Well, you two go ahead and run back to Sergeant Carter. Tell him Sergeant Boyle's a little too sharp to be falling for kids' stuff." He lifted his cup and took a long drink.

The children smiled as they watched Boyle's eyes grow wide. He gestured wildly, turning to spit the substance out in the closest trashcan. "Holy smokes!"

"See ya, Sergeant Boyle!" Vincent called in parting as the two boys raced away in the direction of Carter's hut. Boyle watched them go, slowly shaking his head.

-

"Tell the knuckleheads they've got two minutes to finish getting their gear squared away before the Colonel gets here." Carter murmured to Corporal Hummel.

"Certainly, Sarge." Lester stood and exited the hut, sidestepping the children as they breathlessly dashed through the doorway.

"Hey, Sergeant!" Vincent cried, smiling at Carter. "Did you miss us?"

"Not in the least," he mumbled, pushing up his sleeve. "I was too busy getting my shots, remember?"

"Oh, right." Vincent wrinkled his nose at the adhesive bandages Carter displayed on his arm.

"We stole stuff from Sergeant Hacker an' put salt in Sergeant Boyle's drink!" Will crowed proudly.

"So I've heard." Carter shook his head at the pair. "Are you guys _trying _to ruin the war games for me? Hacker and Boyle think it was all my idea to send you two around, causing trouble everywhere! I've got half a mind not to take you along when we go put the markers up."

"No!" They cried fearfully.

Vincent looked down at the floor, scuffling his feet as he did so. "We sure are sorry, Sergeant. We didn't mean you no harm. We was jus' havin' a little fun, is all. We promise to be real good from now on."

"Real good." Will nodded his head in agreement.

Carter regarded them warily for a moment before arriving at a decision. "Well…I guess it's okay. You can still come on the hike."

"Yay!" The boys cried.

"But…" Carter held up a finger. "You have to stay _right here _and don't move while the Colonel makes his inspection of the barracks. You understand?"

"Yes, Sergeant." They replied, quickly subdued.

Hummel appeared in the doorway. "Sergeant, Colonel Grey is coming up the row."

"Oh!" He hurried toward the door, pausing only to turn around and give them a warning look. _"Don't move," _He ordered sternly, disappearing around the side of the building.

They hadn't stood there a minute when Bunny Carter entered the hut, toting a plate piled high with warm, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. The other hand was stretched out in front of her, tightly gripping the leash that her dog, Tipper, was straining against.

"Why, hello, boys!" She smiled at them, giving a small wave as she set the plate down on her husband's desk. She reluctantly released Tipper from his hold. The dog went bounding about the room, sniffing in corners excitedly. "I brought you your cookies. I hope you're hungry! They just came out of the oven, so they'll be…TIPPER, DOWN!" She commanded in a stern voice when the dog jumped up, reaching toward the plate of cookies with his nose. He quickly backed off and slunk away with his tail between his legs. When Bunny was sure he was through with trying to nab a cookie, she turned back to the boys, her voice sugary sweet once again. "Come on over here and have some."

"Well, Godmama Bunny…" Vincent looked at the floor uncomfortably. He would have scuffled his feet if they'd been permitted to move. "Sergeant Carter, he told us to stay _right here. _An' we cain't move, otherwise he won't take us with him when the platoon goes to put up the markers. An' we wouldn't want to miss that."

"No." Will added, ruefully shaking his head.

Bunny put her hands on her hips. "Well, that's just silly. I wonder why he'd say a thing like that? You're talking to me now, and I say come over here and take one of these cookies while they're hot."

"Godmama Bunny, does your word cancel out Sergeant Carter's cause you're in higher command? Like Colonel Grey cain cancel out my daddy's?" He ventured slowly, eyeing the plate hungrily.

"Of course it does! Who do you think you're talking to? I'm a sergeant's wife, you know!" She gestured to the plate with mock severity. "Now, come on!"

Relieved, the boys darted over to the desk and quickly grabbed them up. "Thank you," they murmured out of full mouths, spilling crumbs all over the floor. Tipper lapped them up, sniffing around hungrily for more. He looked up at the two boys holding cookies, his pink tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. Without warning, he leapt up, knocking the two children to the ground and snatching their cookies away.

"Hey!" They cried as he turned and loped toward the rear exit of the duty hut. Vincent and Will were quick to react. They sprung to their feet and chased him, leaving Bunny standing speechless in the middle of the room.

Tipper bounded outside, cookies in his mouth, leash trailing along behind him. He turned sharply to the right, scrambling toward the propped open back door of the barracks. He squeezed through and disappeared inside.

By the time Vincent and Will had arrived, he was almost all the way through. All they caught was a glimpse of his brown-tipped tail slipping inside. Without even thinking, the boys threw the door wide open and followed him in hot pursuit.

Colonel Grey was just closing the door of one of the lockers he'd inspected when the dog came bearing down on him. Sergeant Carter, who'd been standing behind the Colonel with Lieutenant Farnsworth and Corporal Hummel, felt his eyes widening in growing horror as the dog ran their way. To make matters worse, following right on his heels were none other than the two terrors!

"Hey!" Was all the Colonel was able to utter before the large dog jumped up on him. Caught unawares, he fell to the floor on his back. The dog continued over him and scrambled for the door.

"Give us back our cookies!" The boys cried, leaping over the Colonel's still form.

Lester, thinking quickly, rushed to the front entrance of the barracks. He slammed it shut, cutting off the dog's path of escape.

As soon as he did so, the whole barracks erupted in a cacophony of men's shouts. Tipper turned on his haunches and began heading back the way he came. Men rushed about, some helping the Colonel while others tried to grab the dog or head him off.

Tipper's abrupt turnaround allowed Vincent and Will time for both to grab onto his leash. They firmly planted their feet on the floor and crowed triumphantly, pulling back on the strap. Tipper did not like the feel of their pull at all. With a tremendous lurch, he began darting around the room, slamming into bunks and lockers in the hope of losing their weight.

Surprised, the boys screamed as they were dragged about the room. They were flung about in every direction by the dog. Someone shouted at them to let go, but their grips were frozen to the leash in utter terror.

Eventually, a few of the other men were able to grab onto the leash and stay on their feet, pulling hard. When Tipper realized he could move no more, he finally ceased resistance and tentatively moved toward the men, his ears up at a perky angle. He stopped and cocked his head at his human handlers. _Have I been a naughty boy?_ His look seemed to imply.

When the dust had settled, men were standing everywhere, several holding onto the dog's leash. The two boys were still on their stomachs, hanging onto the end. Farnsworth looked shocked, Hummel appeared thoughtful, and Carter's face was ashen. He was so shook up he was visibly trembling. The barracks was an utter shambles. And standing in the middle of it all was a very stormy-faced Colonel Grey.

"Sergeant! Where did this dog come from?" He glared down his nose at the friendly mutt, who was licking his lips for any extra crumbs.

"I…I…" Carter stammered nervously, sweat beading on his forehead. "I don't know, sir. I…I've never seen this dog before in my life!" He pulled a glare and turned to the Colonel. "Believe me, sir, I'm just as outraged as you are!"

"You know that ain't true, Sergeant!" Vincent piped up, slowly overcoming the numbness and picking himself up off the floor. "Tipper's your dog, remember?"

Carter gaped. "Uh…well…he-he's not! He's Bunny's dog!"

Grey brushed off his rumpled uniform and frowned at Carter. "Is that dog yours, Sergeant?"

"Um, well…" He tittered nervously, kneeling next to the dog. "Surely, being a dog owner yourself, you understand how hard it is to keep an excited dog under control." He forcibly laughed.

"That is completely irrelevant. Besides, my dog is too well-trained to _ever _make such a public embarrassment of his owners!" Colonel Grey owned a German Shepard named Prince. Originally brought to Camp Henderson to be trained as part of a special dog patrol unit, it soon turned out that he was completely unsuited for that line of work, so Colonel Grey had adopted him as a house pet. Though a playful and loving dog that was just as large as Tipper, Prince could be ferocious if needed. He could eat Tipper for breakfast if he wanted to.

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir." Carter mumbled apologetically.

"Get him out of here! Now!" Grey pointed.

"Yes, sir. Right away, sir." Carter handed the dog off to Lester, who turned him over to Bunny outside the duty hut.

"Sir? What about the inspection?" Farnsworth asked slowly.

"There's no need to continue, Lieutenant." Grey glared pointedly at the sergeant. "In my estimation, Sergeant Carter has already failed the inspection!"

Without any further warning, the Colonel stormed out of the hut, followed meekly by Lieutenant Farnsworth.

Carter slowly looked about the room, assessing the amount of damage inflicted. He finally turned to the men. "Well, don't just stand there! Clean this place up, will ya? Move, move!"

He turned from the men to see two small figures scrambling for the door. "HOLD IT!"

The boys stopped, hung their heads and slowly walked over to him, ready to accept defeat and punishment.

"I thought I told you two clowns to stay in the duty hut!" He growled, his tone accusatory.

Vincent risked a glance up at Carter before quickly looking at the floor again. The sergeant was mad, very mad. His face was a strange shade of color and his eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. He was very still and rigid, as if he were trying to restrain himself. In fact, in his entire short life, Vincent had never seen the sergeant angrier.

"But Godmama Bunny had…cookies…" Will's voice trailed off. Now that he thought about it, it seemed silly. They had gotten into all this trouble over a plate of cookies.

"I don't care if Godmama Bunny had French pastries! I gave you an order and you disobeyed it! And you made me look like an idiot in front of Colonel Grey!" Carter exhaled sharply through his nostrils. He looked like a bull in the ring, ready to charge at any moment.

"We're really…_really…_sorry." Vincent squeaked, scuffling at the ground with his foot. Swallowing his fear, he tentatively raised his gaze up to meet the sergeant's. "Cain we…still come with you, Sergeant?"

"Are you crazy?! I wouldn't let you come along if your life depended on it!" Carter frowned determinedly. "And I'm not changing my mind! Now, go home and eat dinner or something! I'm busy!"

He brusquely turned away when he caught sight of Vincent's large brown eyes filling with tears. He hadn't wanted to make the kid cry. But…they'd made such a mess of the inspection…He decisively shook his head. He couldn't reward misbehavior of any sort. They'd just have to accept it.

When they finally realized Sergeant Carter wasn't going to talk to them anymore, they left and reluctantly started in the direction of their homes.

"We blew it, huh?" Will asked.

Vincent nodded. It was definitely, as Lester called it, the understatement of the year.

-

"Whew! That was some stripping down, wasn't it?" Duke sighed as he plopped back into his customary chair beside Gomer's desk. They had just been released from their meeting with Colonel Grey. He had been altogether less than pleased to see how haphazardly the final preparations for their collaborative report were put together. In fact, he had taken their work and assigned it to another pair to finish it. After he had finished upbraiding them over the report, he'd curtly given them their assignments for the war maneuvers taking place the next day.

"Goll-ly, Duke. I sure hope that's the last report Colonel Grey gives us for a while. I ain't too fond of 'em. They get to be where they cause people to stay up all night an' get colicky feelins in the pit of their stomachs." Gomer slowly strolled over to the window and stopped, gazing at the world outside in seemingly deep meditation.

"At any rate, we've got the war games to look forward to now." Duke rubbed his hands together gleefully in anticipation. "Boy, oh, boy! To get to be in the lines of command! Gomer, we're giving the orders instead of following them! Isn't that great?"

"What you say, Duke?" Gomer murmured absently.

Duke frowned in mild concern. "What's wrong with you, buddy? Something weird going on outside?"

Gomer shrugged. "No. Jus' thinkin', is all." He studied the steps leading up to the concrete building and smiled. "I was jus' wonderin' what Vincent's gotten up to this afternoon. You know what I used to do when I was his age? I used to take my bike out back to the edge of Gran'ma an' Gran'pa's property. An' there was this little dirt path there that I done discovered. People had jus' plain forgot about it, I guess. It wound along for a little ways 'fore there was this big drop downhill with a nice, shady patch that had the greenest grass you ever seen. An' as far as I knew, no one knew it even existed. Ain't that somethin'? All that nice space right there an' no one even knew about it." Gomer shook his head. "But I did. An' I would go spend all day jus' ridin' my bike on that path. An' when I got to that hill, I jus' put my feet up on them handlebars and threw my hands in the air an' I jus' flew down that hill an' fell on that soft grass. I must have done it a million times. Got a lot of grass stains on my clothes, though. Gran'ma warn't too happy about that."

"Gomer…what are you talking about?"

Gomer turned from the window and grinned at his friend, who looked to be very bored. "Come on, Duke. Don't you remember anythin' about bein' a kid once? It warn't all that long ago, you know."

"Yes, it was. As far as I can remember, I've always been this age." Duke replied sarcastically.

"You ain't bein' truthful again, Duke." Gomer laughed and turned his gaze back to the window. "You wanna know somethin', Duke? This mornin', when Vincent begged me to take him to the office, I really wondered why he would wanna do that. You know that I don't really take too kindly to them reports the Colonel gives us. But you know what? I'd give jus' about anythin' to have all day to jus' have fun the way he does."

Duke shrugged. "All sons are like that, you know? I'm sure you wanted to be like your father when you were his age."

Gomer was quiet for a long moment. With a heavy heart, he finally spoke. "My daddy was in the war when I was Vincent's age, Duke. I cain hardly even remember him. All I cain recall is those words he told me out on the porch that night 'fore he left."

He turned from the window, slowly moving back toward his seat. "But I still loved him. An' you're right, Duke. I admired him jus' the same."

"You see? It's just a phase with kids." Duke studied his nails nonchalantly. "Gosh, I should have become a child psychologist."

"It really is kinda funny when you think about it, Duke." Gomer sat in his chair, the lines at the corners of his eyes folding as he smiled reflectively. "He wants to be jus' like me…an' I want to be jus' like him."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Now what?" Vincent kicked at a stone listlessly as they trudged toward home.

"I wanna watch _Yogi Bear!" _Will declared, skipping anxiously down the path.

"Aw, come on, Will. Yogi's always the same. You know he's jus' gonna steal a picnic basket an' the Ranger's gonna chase him all over the park to get it back." Vincent shook his head in distaste.

Will stopped in front of him and crossed his arms. "Got a better idea?"

Vincent thought for a minute and smiled. "Yeah! I do! I really do!"

"What?"

"We're gonna go with the Sergeant's platoon when they go put up the markers!"

Will regarded his friend dubiously. "I thought the Sergeant said we weren't allowed."

Vincent grinned. "Course he did. That don't got to stop us from sneakin' along anyway."

Will still wasn't won over with the idea. "What if we get in trouble?"

Vincent shrugged. "Well, the way I see it, we already are, so how's a little more trouble gonna hurt?"

Will mulled over his friend's words, nodding. It seemed true enough logic for his simple mind. "Okay."

"Let's go wait for 'em!" Vincent cried, dashing back in the opposite direction.

-

"Hummel, I want you to march in the rear of the platoon when we go out to the survival camp," Carter murmured to the corporal as the men prepared their packs for the trip.

"Whatever for, Sergeant?" Hummel turned to Carter in mild puzzlement.

"Cause Pyle and Slater will be back there, that's why!"

"Desist for a moment, Sarge." Lester held up a hand, wearing a deeply perplexed frown. "If I am not mistaken, which I seldom am, I deduced that you had informed the children that under no circumstances would they be permitted to accompany us on this excursion after the fiasco that occurred during the Colonel's inspection."

Carter, who'd been struggling to keep up with Hummel's wordy question, finally smiled at the end and nodded. "I know that and you know that. They know it, too. But that's not gonna stop them from sneaking along anyway."

Hummel nodded. "Ah, I comprehend."

Carter laughed and ambled a few paces away, leisurely clapping his hands and gazing at the night sky. This only lasted a moment before he turned his gaze to the barracks door and scowled. "ALL RIGHT, YOU KNUCKLEHEADS! LET'S GO! MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT!"

The men hurriedly ran outside and fell into rank, dressed for the coming hike.

"All right. Now, as many of you now know, we've been assigned to put up the boundary markers for tomorrow's war games." Carter held up a fistful of bright orange strips. "Once we get to the perimeter, we'll split into two groups. We're supposed to tie one of these things on a tree every ten yards. Our squads will take opposite ends and work until we meet each other at the other end of the zone. And work fast so we get this done before it gets too dark!"

He turned briskly to the right. "Left _face!" _He waited until the platoon had carried out his order before winking at Hummel and continuing. "_Forward, _hut! _Left and left and left, two, three, and left…"_

Lester fell into rank behind the rest of the men, still dubious of the sergeant's assumption. He glanced over his shoulder in the direction of the duty hut. Sure enough, he saw two small figures scurrying in and out of the shadows a hundred feet behind him.

-

They had been marching some time when the sergeant finally called, _"Platoon, halt!"_

The boys stumbled to a stop farther back. Seeing Lester turning around to look again, they quickly ducked behind the nearest cluster of foliage, not even bothering to see that they'd just stepped into a cluster of three-leaved plants.

"You think Lester knows we're here? I seen him lookin' at us." Will panted as they sat down behind the trees.

"Nah. He's jus' funny, Lester is." Vincent looked around him and shivered in the cold evening air. It was near dark. The sun had almost set in the west. His mother would be wondering where he was.

He scratched an itch on his arm and turned back to his companion. "Hey. Are they all gone yet?"

Will rubbed a hand across his face and turned to look. "Yeah. I think so."

"Okay. Let's follow 'em!" Vincent jumped up and scurried toward the fork in the path.

"Hey! You itchy?" Will called.

"I guess." He replied, stopping as he came to the division. "Which way'd they go?"

"I don't know." Will shrugged.

"Well…" Vincent thought a minute. "How about you go one way an' I'll go the other?"

"No way, Jose!" Will frowned, scratching his arms instead of crossing them. "What if we get et by _monsters?"_

"Goll-ly. I never thought of _that." _Vincent whispered. He now knew it was imperative to stick together. Neither had ever been out alone after dark, especially without their parents' permission. Their young minds fancied all sorts of evils awaiting them in the dense wood. Facing them together, they both knew, would be far better than facing them alone.

"Which way do we go?" Will murmured, picking at a red rash on his knee.

"My daddy taught me somethin' called the two fingers test. That'll decide which way we go." Vincent moved over toward a nearby branch.

"How does it work?"

"Well, you take your two fingers an' hit 'em against somethin' hard. Whichever one hurts the most is the choice you go with." He held up the middle and index finger of his left hand. "This one says we go left, this one says we go right." He pointed to them each in turn. Pausing only to give his cheek a quick scratch, he turned and smacked them against the branch. His index finger caught on a burr and snagged, drawing bright red droplets to the surface.

Vincent yelped, gripping his hand. A slight dizzy spell befell him as he gazed down at the blood. Tears rushed to the corners of his eyes. He shut his mouth firmly, even as it trembled uncertainly, to keep from crying. Above all else, he didn't want to cry. That would make him just as much a sissy baby as his sister.

Quickly wiping away the drops on the seat of his overalls, he relaxed and sighed. "We go to the right," he murmured quietly.

-

Lou Ann carefully set a plate of collards on the table and sighed, rubbing her hands on her apron. She turned just in time to see Millie trying to sneak a bite and stopped her. "Millie, you'll wait until your daddy an' your brother get here. Have you washed your hands yet?"

"Yes…" The girl quickly withdrew her hands and hid them underneath the folds of her skirt. Her dark brown eyes gazed inquisitively up at her mother.

Lou Ann smiled. "Let me see them, please."

Millie breathed a loud sigh and slowly brought them forward for her mother's inspection.

Lou Ann nodded as she turned the small palms upward. "Actually, I'd thought so. Millie, you know it ain't right to bring dirty hands to the table. An' no dessert tonight for lyin' to your Ma, all right?"

Millie chewed on a dark tendril, nodding slowly up at Lou Ann. "Yes, Ma."

"All right. Now go an' wash up." Lou Ann pushed the girl toward the bathroom.

"Yes, Ma."

Lou Ann smiled at the girl's retreating back before slowly straightening to finish dinner. As she did so, she heard the front door open and close. "That you, Gomer?" She called absently.

All she heard in response was her husband murmuring as he flipped through the day's mail.

Lou Ann rolled her eyes in exasperation, tucking a stray blonde strand behind her ear as she strode out toward the living room. "Gomer, answer me when I speak to you!"

Gomer set the mail down by his chair and smiled tiredly at his irate wife. "I'm sorry, Lou Ann." He gently placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her an apologetic kiss. "It's jus'…well…it ain't been too great of a day, to tell you the truth. I wisht bein' a major could be a bit more fun sometimes."

"Ain't your report finished now?" She reached up and removed his peaked cap, setting it on its customary peg by the door. She turned around and took his overcoat from him while he moved his briefcase back to its place by the hall.

"Well, yeah, we did, all right. But Colonel Grey, he didn't like it too well. You see, we got this research report from Captain Neilson that had a bunch of really good figures an' we wanted to use it. But we kinda jus' threw it in at the last minute 'fore we turned it in an' the Colonel thought we did a really sloppy job. I hope he don't give us another one for a while." He groaned and straightened, feeling the small of his back gingerly. "Now we got these assignments for the war games to go over tonight, which I ain't too fond of doin', seein' as how it takes time away that I could be spendin' with you an' the little fellers, an'…"

Gomer turned around to see Lou Ann, who had been listening closely to his every word. Their eyes met and she smiled for him. Gomer shook his head. "Lou Ann…did I ever tell you how purdy you look after a day like this'n?"

"Actually, I think you have." She laughed and relaxed against him, resting her hands on his chest. "But it never hurts for you to say it again."

They kissed once more, Gomer finally relaxing in her embrace after the long and worrisome day. By the end of it, his familiar grin was back in place. "Shazaam!" He exclaimed happily.

Lou Ann laughed. "Oh, Gomer…" She turned and looked about the room. "Where's Vinny?"

"Ain't he here?"

"You mean he ain't with you?" She turned her gaze back on him, her eyes filled with worry.

"No, I…I thought he'd come home hours ago." Lines almost immediately returned to Gomer's features.

"Well, I ain't seen him since he left the house this mornin' with you!" Lou Ann cried, beginning to feel panicked.

"Ma? Daddy?" Millie asked in a small voice from the doorway, unsure of herself after hearing the distressed tones in her parents' voices.

Lou Ann silently went over to her daughter and hugged her close.

Gomer swiftly walked over to the phone and began dialing. "Don't get all riled up jus' yet, Lou Ann. I'm sure there's a real good explanation why he ain't here yet…" He trailed off as the other line picked up. "Hey, Duke! This is Gomer…No, I don't think so…You sure are a funny one, Duke. Hey, is Vincent still over there playin' with Will?…Oh. He ain't?…Will ain't there neither…Okay. Thanks, Duke." He slowly hung up the phone.

"Oh!" Lou Ann raised a hand to her mouth in growing horror.

"Don't worry, Lou Ann. I'm sure they jus' both went to Sergeant Carter's place. Miss Bunny prob'ly done fed 'em already an' we'll all be laughin' over this in an hour." Gomer feigned a smile, trying his hardest to quell the anxiety forming in the pit of his stomach. He punched another number into the phone and waited for a voice to pick up.

Bunny had just shoved a pot roast in the oven when her telephone rang. "Hold on! Hold on!" She muttered crossly, nearly tripping over Tipper in her scramble to reach the phone. She had yet to get around to sweeping the house, or even cleaning it. Beer cans lay littered on the floor, especially cluttered up in bunches next to packages of TV dinners in the living room. Overdue library books on gardening and housekeeping lay hidden under stacks of papers, many of which were ready for the trash. Bunny, her hair up in curlers and dressed in her rabbit slippers, knocked over several teetering piles of clutter on the way, further concealing the floor from view. Panting, she finally picked up on the last ring. "Look, Vince! I just put dinner in the oven and if you're a second late, you'll just have to eat it cold! I…Oh, it's you, Gomer. I'm sorry, I thought…"

"That's all right, Miss Bunny." Gomer smiled a little in spite of himself. He pushed his khaki sleeve back to glance at his watch passively. "How's come you're fixin' dinner jus' now? Is Sergeant Carter gonna be late?"

Bunny sighed, wiping a floury hand across her cheek. "Yes. See, his platoon got picked to put the markers up around the area they're using for the war games tomorrow. He told me he probably wouldn't be home until after dark."

"Shazaam," Gomer murmured quietly. He looked down at his shoes and cleared his throat, not even noticing Lou Ann come up behind him. She laid a hand on his back and situated her head next to his, listening closely to the phone conversation.

"Um, Miss Bunny…if you don't mind my askin', is our Vincent over playin' at your place right now?" A strained note was beginning to creep its way into Gomer's voice.

Bunny slowly took a seat, gazing out her front window. "No, Gomer. He isn't. In fact, I haven't seen him for hours. Last I saw him, he was with the Slater boy and they were heading back toward your place."

"They were?" Gomer croaked. Lou Ann's grip on him tightened. "Goll-ly. They sure ain't showed up here yet."

"Well, I'm sure they're out playing on the base somewhere. I can't see them getting in too much trouble. Besides, any personnel walking around would be able to bring them home if they look lost, or…" Bunny's voice trailed off as she watched a group of children parading across her front lawn. "Those darned Farnsworth brats! I'll kill them! HEY! GET OUTTA MY FLOWER BEDS, YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING KIDS!" She abruptly dropped the phone and dashed outside in a mad attempt to save the last of her petunias.

"Well, Goodbye." Gomer slowly hung up. He shrugged. "Miss Bunny must've left." He thought over the phone conversation and what it meant. Suddenly, horrific thoughts entertained his mind, causing him to go cold. He closed his eyes as if to block them from his mind, leaning his head against the wall tiredly.

"Oh, Gomer! What are we gonna do?"

He slowly turned and faced his worried wife, his own expression set and determined. "Lou Ann, you cain go ahead an' eat with Millie. She needs her strength, an' so do you. I don't want you feelin' you got to wait up for me. I'll be all right. Try not to worry too much. I'll call if anythin' happens." He brushed past her and strode toward the door, grabbing his hat along the way.

Lou Ann ushered Millie out to the kitchen before turning back to him. She did not like the way he looked and sounded. "Gomer! What on earth do you think you're doin'?"

He opened the door and paused, regarding her sadly for a moment. "I'm goin' to find Vincent." He said at last. And with that, he set his cap firmly on his head and disappeared through the front door.

-

Will Slater shivered and scratched the back of his neck. "Wanna go home."

Darkness had descended upon the copse of trees, now casting eerie shadows upon the well-beaten dirt path they were traveling. Crickets chirped methodically in the still summer air. From somewhere close by, an owl hooted. The boys jumped when they heard it, yelping in fright.

Vincent, the first to recover, rubbed at a red spot on the back of his hand and slowly stepped forward. "Don' be a sissy baby, Will. We prob'ly almost catched up to 'em by now. I bet when we turn that corner right there we'll be able to see 'em."

"And if we don't?"

Vincent gulped. "Then we go back."

A rustling in the bushes close by made them stop again. Will hugged Vincent fearfully, his friend gripping him back just as tightly. Despite themselves, their knees buckled as they quaked with terror. Neither hardly dared breathe. Their wide eyes were trained only on the woods that held their unimaginable horror.

A few more branches snapped before the grass parted ways and a cat stepped forth from the shadows. Its hungry green eyes regarded the boys curiously, mewing softly.

Vincent almost collapsed onto the path with relief. "Shazaam! It's jus' a little kitty-cat, Will! It's jus' a poor ol' little kitty-cat!" He almost laughed.

Will frowned, scratching his knee again. "It's not funny!"

"Hey, at least it warn't some purple people-eatin' _monster." _Vincent smiled and slowly crawled toward the cat. "Hey, Kitty." He murmured softly, gently stroking the top of its dirty brown head. "Hey, she's friendly!"

"How do you know it's a she?" Will asked dubiously.

"Daddy taught me how to tell if a critter is a he or a she. An' this cat, she don't got what he cats does." Vincent shook his head, looking underneath her belly just to be certain.

"Is she lost?"

"I don't know. She sure don't look like she's been treated too well." He picked up the cat and set it on his lap. "She's hungry. See how she's tryin' to bite my fingers?" He pointed to her middle. "An' jus' look at her ribs. See? You cain see her ribs!"

Will stooped down next to his friend. He smiled and tentatively reached out to stroke the feline. "How come you know all that?"

Vincent shrugged, tugging at the crooked bill of his ball cap. "My daddy, he says all animals cain talk. It's jus' a matter of listenin' to 'em an' learnin' their language. You know what? Most of 'em is real friendly when you get to know 'em."

Will laughed as the cat batted his hand with her paw. "What's her name?"

Vincent felt around her neck for a collar but found none. He shrugged and looked closely at the cat. "Well…she looks a lot like my Aunt Edith. So that's what I'll call her." He lifted her up, smiling indulgently down at his newfound pet. "Hey, Edith."

"Vinny?" Will scratched vehemently at a spot behind his ear. "Are we gonna still try an' catch up?"

"Oh, yeah!" The boy jumped up, the cat still in his arms. "Thanks, Will. I done forgot." He tucked Edith into the pouch between his overalls and his shirt before taking off at a dead sprint.

"Wait for me! I got little legs!" Will cried, dashing after him.

They tumbled and twisted their way through the dark path. If one of them tripped and fell over a root, they simply picked themselves back up and kept going. Eagerness, impatience, and the ever-ominous presence of fear fueled them in their mad flight. After it seemed like they'd been running for hours, they finally reached the bend in the path. Turning up it, they expected to see Carter's platoon in the distance. But, much to their dismay, all they were greeted with was darkness.

"We missed 'em!" Vincent exclaimed, as if he couldn't believe that he had been wrong.

"I want Mommy! I wanna go home!" Will stopped and wailed, the disappointment of the adventure making him wish he'd never come along in the first place.

"All right, Will. We'll go home." Vincent slowly turned back around, scratching his arms as he did so. "Jus' don't try to be a sissy baby, like Millie is."

Will sniffed, following close behind. "I'm hungry."

"Me too." Vincent rubbed his stomach forlornly, at last thinking of something other than their evening caper.

"I want my bed."

"I guess I'm kinder tired, too." For the first time, Vincent was beginning to feel the exhausting effects of his run.

"Vinny, I…_I have to go to the bathroom." _Will whispered urgently.

"You do?" Vincent stopped and turned to his friend. "Is it real bad?"

Will slowly nodded.

"Well…you could always use the bushes if you need to." He gestured to the surrounding brush. "Me an' Edith here'll wait for you."

Will turned and slowly moved toward the edge of the path. He lifted his gaze to the tall, menacing canopy of trees and the dark unknown depths they sheltered. In the distance, a dog howled.

"I don't think so!" He ran back and hid behind his friend.

"What's the matter, Will? I thought you had to go to the bathroom."

"N-not anymore." He gulped.

"Scared?" Vincent asked quietly.

Will nodded.

"Well…I am, too. Come on, let's go home." Vincent strode down the path, Will in tow. He'd only gone a few feet, however, before he abruptly stopped. This part of the path looked oddly familiar to him. Was he going back in the wrong direction? Panicked, he turned around in a tight circle, trying to regain his bearings. But he couldn't. Under the cloak of darkness, it all looked the same.

"Goll-ly, Will…we cain't go home." He moaned mournfully, fear beginning to rankle among his emotions.

"Why?"

"Cause we're lost."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Hey there!" Gomer waved to an officer walking down the row and ran to catch him. "Scuse me. I'm real sorry to be interruptin' your walk, but I'm lookin' for a little boy. Have you seen him?" He panted upon reaching the man, holding his hand out flat next to him. "He's about this high, got real dark hair an' eyes, wearin' overalls an' a cap turned sideways, with his shoes double-knotted?"

Duke, who'd been right behind him, jumped in. "Or a little short guy, brown hair and freckles, with a tie-dye shirt and the cutest dimples you've ever seen?"

The officer smiled wanly and shook his head. "No. I'm sorry."

"That's all right. Thank you, sir. I'm much obliged to you." Gomer called as the two men hurried on their way.

"This is _not good, _Gomer." Duke muttered anxiously. "This is the nineteenth row we've checked! Nobody's seen them!"

"But they cain't possibly have left the base!" Gomer cried. "I already checked with all the guards at the gates an' the ones patrollin' the fences. They ain't seen any little fellers all day! They got to be here, unless…"

Duke stole a glance his way. They both imagined the terrible thought at the same time. "This isn't funny anymore, Gome." He said quietly. "When I left the house, Morgan was bawling her eyes out. And she's usually pretty good with letting the little guy keep his own hours and do what he wants."

Gomer looked up at the bright moon in the sky, praying fervently that his little boy was all right. "It's dark now. Them little fellers is prob'ly scared to death right now." He put his head down and ran even faster toward the barracks. "Come on, Duke. Let's see if Sergeant Carter knows where they are."

"Sergeant Carter? How would he know? He doesn't even know where his own platoon is half the time! Didn't you hear about what he did in the last maneuvers exercise?"

-

Will shivered as tears brimmed in his eyes. "Nobody knows where we are! We're gonna starve to death and get et by _monsters! _And no one's gonna care!" He promptly sat down and pouted, his mind mulling over his terrible fate.

Vincent took off his cap to ward off the mosquitoes. A slight breeze riffled his unruly black hair, blowing it across his eyes. He tucked it back underneath his cap and paused to scratch his arm, rubbing it so hard that it bled. He didn't want to think about his present predicament and how much trouble they were in, so he concentrated on something else. A hungry plea from Edith, still tucked inside his overalls, caught his attention. "Hey, Will? I'm gonna go find some food for Edith. She must be starved somethin' awful."

Without pausing to think, he turned and strode right off into the brush lining the path.

"Wait for me! I'm coming, too!" Will jumped up and quickly followed his friend.

They had thought the path was scary; the path was safe compared to the eerie dark trees that now enclosed them in all directions. Will had to grope for Vincent's shirt before clinging to it for dear life. He couldn't even see three feet in front of him. At all costs, he did _not _want to become separated from his friend.

Vincent blindly pressed ahead, ignoring the branches that snagged at his overalls, feeling like arms reaching out to grab him and trying to drag him down. He dared not look up to see the yellow owls' eyes peering back at him, or listen to the frightening breeze howling his name among the willows. He would not let his fear get the best of him. Relying solely on his nose and his instinct, he turned and continued his brave march through the ferocious forest.

He had trekked only a little further when he suddenly stopped. For some reason, the forest was silent. No birds twittered, no owls hooted, no dogs howled. And yet, the deathly quiet that surrounded them was even more menacing than the sounds.

Feeling as though his heart were about to burst out of his chest, Vincent had to take several deep breaths before continuing forward. "H-how about a song, Will?" He squeaked, his voice echoing off the nearby trees. Will just clung to him even more tightly, refusing to even make a sound. Vincent felt it and wished he could give way to his fears like his friend could. But no, he couldn't. His father wouldn't have gotten scared. He never got scared. He would have made the best of things, like he was doing, and would try not to think about it. _I'll make you proud, Daddy, _he thought determinedly before bursting into song. _"No-count mule settin' on a mountain, settin' on a mountain, settin' on a mountain. No-count mule settin' on a mountain all day long…"_

_-_

Vincent had sung himself hoarse before they finally heard a sound, and quite a welcome sound, at that. It was one of trickling water moving swiftly over a smooth, stone bed. Will gasped when he heard it. Edith mewed anxiously.

"Shazaam," Vincent whispered hoarsely, his spirits rising with each passing moment. "I knew that creek had to be around here somewheres."

Listening closely, the trio slowly made their way toward the sound's source. Pretty soon, Beaver Creek came into view, the moon and stars creating clear reflections in the gently flowing water.

"We're saved! We're saved!" Will cried, running down the familiar bank toward the water's edge.

Vincent, too hoarse for words, set Edith down on the ground and joined his friend. In seconds, all three were drinking the cool, refreshing water from the creek. The glowing moonlight cascaded upon the creek's waters and surrounding vicinity, making the trees seem less than half so ferocious. It was like they had stumbled upon an oasis, a replenishing and familiar landmark lit up against the darkness.

When Will had finished, he pulled back up on the bank. He felt much better, his overwhelming terror seemingly far away in the past. He sat back and gazed up at the sky, Edith curling up next to him. He smiled at the stars that greeted him. "Vinny…do you know the names of the consolations?"

"Nah, that stuff's for nerds." His friend waved the supposition off, going methodically through his pockets as if searching for something. He alone was still crouching over the water's edge.

"Nerds?" Will frowned. He didn't think it was nerdy to be interested in stars and the constellations. His mother was always interested in them, and his own sister's name was Starr. Heck, if he could find any of the pictures that were supposed to be up there, but he never could see, he would give them his own special names!

"Yeah, that's what Fonzie would say." Vincent murmured, picking through several odd pieces of junk in his palm.

"Who's Fonzie?"

At this, Vincent turned around. "You don't know the Fonz? Don't you watch _Happy Days?"_

Will shook his head. "No. But I watch _Yogi Bear _and _The Flintstones _and _Tom and Jerry _and _Scooby-Doo _and…"

Vincent had already turned back around, fiddling earnestly with two small objects. He was so engrossed in his task that he almost didn't hear Will's question.

"What'cha doing?"

"Tryin' to make us a compass so we know where we're at." He replied, finally successfully poking the needle through the small cork. "Shazaam! I did it, Will! I did it!"

"How?" Will leaned forward curiously. Edith followed closely on his tail.

"I jus' put one of Ma's sewin' needles through this here cork an' then set it on the water." Vincent pointed. "An' that's your compass. My daddy, he taught me how to do it when we went campin'." He smiled proudly.

Will cocked his head in confusion. "How does it work?"

"Well, the way it works is the needle always points to the north." Vincent gestured. "So that's west, that's east, an' that's south." He pointed in each direction accordingly.

"How does that help us?"

Vincent slowly shook his head. "Actually, I don't know…at least we know where the directions is."

"So which way do we go?"

Vincent thought long and hard, absently petting Edith as he did so. "Wait a minute. Don't we always go to the right offen the path when we go to play in the creek? An' we always come from that side?" He pointed to the west, the area now faintly recognizable to his young mind.

"Maybe. Why?" Will murmured absently.

"Then if we go that way…" Vincent cried, jumping up excitedly as he pointed to the west. "We cain find the path again! An' maybe we'll be able to see where we are better!"

"Maybe someone will find us?" Will ventured hopefully.

"Yeah! Come on, Will!" Vincent quickly pocketed the compass and scooped Edith back up in his arms. He grinned happily. Maybe he had been able to find their way out of the woods, after all!

As Will joined him, Vincent began picking up his feet in a triumphant parade, pausing only to scratch the occasional itch. He smiled proudly, singing loudly at the top of his voice: _"From the halls of Mon-ta-zoo-o-mer to the shores of Tri-po-lee…"_

_-_

Gomer and Duke arrived at Carter's duty hut just as Corporal Hummel had shrugged off his heavy pack. He turned around and straightened as he caught sight of the two officers.

"Hey, Lester." Gomer gave a half-hearted wave, looking around the place earnestly. "Have you seen Sergeant Carter?"

"At ease, Corporal." Duke gave Gomer a knowing look as Hummel finally relaxed.

"We only returned from our allotted detail not a minute ago." Lester replied, throwing a glance at his gear. "The sergeant is attending to the others in the barracks, if I'm not mistaken."

"Thanks, Lester." Gomer whirled around and ran right into the man in question.

"Watch where you're going, you knucklehead!" He shouted angrily before realizing whom he was speaking to. When he caught sight of Gomer's goofy grin, his eyes widened as he quickly stood at attention before him. "Ten _hut!" _He cried, forcing poor Lester back to attention even though he'd been dismissed.

"As you were." Duke appeared at Gomer's side, a scowl written plainly across his features.

Carter sighed, turning back to Gomer. "Why don't you ever learn to watch it, huh? Listen here, Pyle! You may be a major, but you're still a goof! A goof with a capital G! You always have to go running into people and knocking them over! You almost remind me of that half-crazy son of yours! You always have to get someplace because it's 'real important.' And so is staying out of my face! Straighten up, will ya?"

"I sure am sorry, Sergeant." Gomer shook his head from side to side, grinning. "But…Goll-ly, I jus' love it when you yell at me like that. It's jus' like old times again."

Carter turned away, grumbling under his breath.

"Wait just a minute, Sergeant." Duke roughly took a hold of Carter's collar and pulled him back over, his voice taut with anger. "We didn't come all this way just so you could bawl out Gomer. Our kids are missing right now and we're not in the mood to play games. Our wives are going hysterical back home and Gome and I are here frightened out of our minds because _nobody _has seen a trace of them all day! If you've got something important to tell us, man, you'd better say it!"

"Your sons?" Carter croaked anxiously as he stared into the smoldering depths of Slater's eyes. He'd never seen the man so angry before in all his life. "Little Pyle and Little Slater? S-sure, I've seen them. They've been breathing down my neck all day! They just went with us on the hike, that's all. Didn't they, Hummel?" He turned to his corporal for support.

Lester cleared his throat. "Beg your pardon, Sergeant. I confess only to having identified them as we arrived at the survival camp. I believed you to have had them in sight as we departed."

"Me? I never saw 'em. That was supposed to be _your _job!" Carter rebuked hotly.

"You went to the survival camp?" Duke frowned in confusion.

"Yeah, the Colonel told us to go put up boundary markers for the war games tomorrow." Carter replied, finally breaking free of Slater's slackened grasp.

"Upon my word, I do declare that I perceived them in pursuit of us. But after the Sergeant and I parted our separate ways, I could not discern any young figures following my squad. I say, a most atrocious misunderstanding has befallen us. I am humbly sorry, Pyle, Slater." Lester said quietly.

"Yeah, and there sure wasn't anyone following me, cause if there was, I would have seen 'em! When your kids try sneaking around, they sure do a lousy job of it!" Carter huffed at the two officers.

"You mean…" Gomer said slowly, his heart sinking with every word that was said, "that the little fellers are lost? In the survival camp?"

"It would appear to be that way, yes." Hummel coughed uncomfortably.

"Oh, no." Carter moaned, thinking back to the last time he'd spoken to them. Guilt washed over him tenfold, as well as concern for the children's well being. "I never meant for them to get _lost! _Honest!" He felt terrible for kicking them off the detail earlier. If he had just let them come along anyway, they never would have gotten lost to begin with. He sat down on his desk and buried his head in his hands. His godson, his only godson was lost and it was all his fault!

"Shazaam! Vincent!" Gomer cried, his brown eyes growing wide with terror. He had just traded a whole bunch of awful scenarios for new ones, dreadful predicaments that his curious, impatient son could have gotten into. His heart in his throat, the major moved quickly toward the door.

"Gome! Where are you going?" Duke cried, stopping his friend furiously.

"I'm goin' to that survival camp, Duke! I gotta find him! I gotta find Vincent!" Gomer tried to move past his friend, but Duke effectively blocked off all paths of escape.

"Hang on, Gomer. We'll take a company jeep. We can cover more ground that way." Duke gestured in the direction of the officers' quarters. "Come on."

"I'm coming, too!" Carter shouted. "Hummel, take over the platoon. I can show you two which way we went." He murmured to Gomer and Duke, trailing after them anxiously. "I'll go over every tree and every bush, through every pond and stream, I'll have all the rivers dragged, look in all the holes and burrows and dens, wade in the quicksand, fight off every lion, tiger and bear…"

"You're not helping, Sarge." Duke growled.

"We'll find them all right! If my name isn't Vince Carter!" He stopped and turned toward the trees looming in the distance. "DON'T WORRY, BOYS!" He yelled. "WE'RE COMING!"

-

"Are we there yet?" Will Slater grumbled, hanging limply onto one of his friend's overall straps. It was well past his bedtime. He was tired, hungry, grumpy, scared, and he _still _had to use the bathroom.

"No…" Vincent slowly replied. He stopped for a minute and squinted in the distance. "But I think I see somethin'."

The cat extended her brown head out and mewed plaintively. Vincent looked down and petted her head. "It's okay, Edith. I ain't forgot you. You's hungry, too."

The boy made his way through the remaining brush toward the bright object as quickly as he could. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he found his source of energy was all but depleted. His curiosity and excitement over their current adventure had long since waned. All he wanted now was to go home, eat, and go to bed. Thoughts of home were about all that still kept him going at this point.

He finally reached the tree and tugged slightly at the bright orange strip that was tied around its trunk. "Shazaam!" His eyes slowly lit up, a smile spreading across his face. "This is one of them markers Sergeant Carter's platoon done put up. We found the war games zone, Will!"

"Oh, great. Now we have to worry about getting _shot at." _Will moaned.

"No, this is perfect!" Vincent cried. "We keep goin' this way, we're bound to find someone in the war games that'll help us get back home!" He looked up at the dark night sky. "We jus' gotta wait for mornin', that's all."

"If we don't get _shot _first." Will mumbled under his breath.

"I guess we could go a little further." Vincent yawned, scratching irritably at his chin. "Or we could jus' stay here till mornin'."

Will sat down, hugging the tree trunk in fright. "I wanna go home!"

Vincent kneeled down beside his friend, holding Edith snugly in his arms. "Ever'one's asleep now, Will. Ain't no one gonna find us till mornin'."

"I want my mommy!" The boy sobbed, clutching the tree even tighter. Tears swiftly began to flow down his freckled cheeks as he wailed incessantly.

Now, with nothing to occupy his mind, Vincent sat and listened, wide-eyed, to the sounds of the night. The wind was just…the wind. It wasn't anything like a _haint, _after all…Shadows were just shadows. They hid nothing silly, like _monsters, _right?

A rustling in the trees made him dart furtive glances in every direction, as if he expected a monster to descend upon them at any moment. _Someone's watching us…_A cold, chilling sensation burned at the back of his neck, and he was almost certain that he and Will were not alone. A clammy sweat broke out on his forehead. He bit his lip to keep from crying out. Now the long, distorted shadows cast upon the ground seemed to move when Vincent stared at them. He slowly turned his head, pulling the bill of his cap down over his eyes.

As soon as he looked in a different direction, though, he met the bright, yellow-eyed gaze of a tree owl. No matter which way he moved, the eyes followed him, and he could not tear his gaze from their haunting depths. Unfeelingly, they stared straight at him, as if they were watching, waiting…

Vincent could take no more. Fear broke out full force, washing away every ounce of courage he'd been able to muster up to that point. He screamed, pulling his cap down over his face and covering his head with his arms. He was every bit just as frightened as his friend. "Help! Help! Help! Help!" He hollered, curling into a fetal position and giving himself over to the fears he'd for so long kept suppressed.

-

Duke drove like a maniac into the campgrounds, his foot pressing the accelerator all the way to the floor. In the passenger seat of the jeep, Gomer hung onto his hat as he searched the surrounding brush for any sign of the youngsters. In the bed, it was everything Sergeant Carter could do to hang on, gripping the sides of the jeep for dear life.

"We could be here for hours, Gome!" Duke muttered crossly as he drove down the dark paths. "We won't be able to find them fast enough! We need search parties! We gotta call the police! We gotta call the national guard! We gotta call the Marines!" He shook his head. "Wait. We _are _the Marines!"

"SLOW DOWN, WILL YA? YOU'RE GONNA KILL US!" Carter cried, turning a pale shade of green.

A distant sound reached Gomer's ears. He frowned, trying desperately to make out what it was. He definitely knew it was a sound that didn't belong in a forest. He turned over to his friend and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Duke? Slow up a minute. I think I hear somethin'!"

Duke slammed on the brakes, pitching Sergeant Carter forward against the back of their seats. "OUCH! HEY!" He cried, rubbing the back of his head.

Gomer held up a finger to silence the occupants. "Listen close, now."

All was quiet in the dark forest. Duke and Carter strained their ears, trying to catch a bit of what Gomer had heard.

For a while, all they could discern were crickets chirping in the grass. Soon, however, they heard a different sound from far away. It was a plaintive wailing. Listening even harder, they could just barely make out the call, "Help!"

"That's them!" Duke revved the engine and was about to peel off when Gomer stopped him.

"Wait jus' a minute, Duke." Gomer felt how fast his pulse was racing as he laid a hand on Duke's arm. He had no idea how he was able to act rationally when it seemed as if he were on the point of a nervous breakdown. Maybe it was because he knew, deep down, that the cooler he kept his head, the faster it would take to find his son.

He turned around, setting his anxious gaze on the sergeant. "Sergeant Carter? Do you recognize this neck of the woods any?"

"You mean, did we come down this path earlier?" Carter sat up and squinted at the trees that were illuminated by the headlights. "Yeah, this is where Hummel and half of the platoon split off from mine. I went to the left, he went to the right."

They sat quietly and listened to the moans for another moment.

"This is stupid." Duke revved the engine again. "Those kids need help! Now!" He started driving the jeep to the right.

"Wait, Duke." Gomer sat up and listened again. "They sound more like they's close to the creek. I think we ought to go left."

"What difference does it make? You can still get to the creek if you go right! And we'll cover more ground!"

"Yes, but…but the left is shorter."

"Fine." Duke rolled his eyes and pushed down on the accelerator. The jeep sprung off to the left with a mighty lurch. "I'll trust the guy with the nose of a bloodhound."

Carter hung over the side of the jeep and got sick.

-

Vincent shivered, his arms still over his head, his cap pulled all the way down over his face. He squeezed his eyes shut and rested his head against the firm, packed earth. He was so utterly terrified that he could think of nothing but the darkness and the eyes that surrounded him. He knew he would meet his maker before dawn's first rays. Tears ran down his face and dropped onto Edith's brown fur. Even the cat underneath him lay huddled up in a ball.

Beside him, Will continued to wail for all he was worth. At least he wouldn't go down without a fight, Vincent thought. As for himself, he was a quaking, yellow-bellied coward. He'd thrown in the towel and given up just because it had gotten too scary. And he was glad.

From far off, he heard primeval yells and felt a flash of light. The monsters had found him. He huddled inward even more tightly, trembling violently. It wouldn't be long now.

A few moments passed before footsteps could be heard through the brush. Their monotony haunted him, chilled him, tortured him. He was helpless to do anything. He could only listen to their steady approach as they slowly grew closer, and closer, and closer, and…

He opened his mouth and emitted an ear-shattering scream.

"Vincent?"

The boy slowly uncovered his face. Did his ears deceive him? "Daddy?" He sniffed.

"Vincent!" Before the boy knew what was happening, his father descended upon him, wrapping him tightly in a bear hug. A great, big sigh of relief issued forth from the major, who couldn't help but tear up as he held his boy once more. "Oh, my goodness! You're all right!" He choked.

"Daddy!" Vincent's cap fell off as he buried his face in his father's chest, crying even harder.

"Is he okay?" Sergeant Carter's voice asked from somewhere above his head.

"I think so." Gomer replied, holding the boy at arm's length to assess him. "He's a little beat up an' he's got some kind of rash, but I think he's okay." He held up Vincent's chin and smiled at his son's red-rimmed, tear-stained eyes. The boy couldn't meet his gaze out of shame.

Gomer glanced over at his friend, who was cradling his whimpering son in his arms. A dirty brown cat stood at Duke's feet, gazing up at Gomer curiously. "Who's that?"

"Edith? She's a cat. She found us." Vincent mumbled, shuffling his feet uncomfortably.

"Is she lost?"

The boy shrugged, still shuffling from foot to foot. He stared a hole in the dirt ground intently.

"Looks like poison ivy, Gome." Duke murmured, holding up Will's arm on close inspection.

"Lou Ann ain't gonna like that." Gomer smiled and shook his head at his son. "Where have you been? You are in one peck of trouble, young man."

"We wanted to come along an' help the Sergeant put up the markers an' we kinder…um…got lost." He finished lamely. Now that the terror had receded, the whole thing seemed utterly ridiculous.

"Son, you had us worried to death about you! Do you hurt anywheres?" Gomer's dark brown eyes still went over the boy appraisingly, searching for signs of injury.

Vincent shook his head, furiously wiping his eyes on his sleeve. "I'm sorry, Daddy. I tried to be brave like you. I really did. But I got scared. I guess I'm jus' a sissy baby."

"That's okay, Vincent." Gomer smiled.

"No, it ain't. I warn't brave like you. An' I wanna be jus' like you!" Vincent pouted, picking up his cap from where it had fallen on the ground. "I guess I didn't make you proud, huh?"

"Vincent, I'm plenty proud of you."

The boy looked up, his dark, inquisitive eyes searching those of his father. "You are?"

Gomer laughed. "Of course I am. I'm always proud of my son. You don't got to go provin' it to me ever' day. Cause I already am. You oughta know that."

Vincent smiled a little, in spite of himself. "But I got scared. Pyle men ain't supposed to get scared. I let you down."

"Who told you that?" Gomer frowned.

"Great-Gran'pa." He cast his gaze down at the ground again. "An' it's true, ain't it? He never gets scared, an' neither do you. I ain't supposed to get scared. I should have been a big boy. But I warn't."

"Vincent," Gomer shook his head. "Look at me for a minute."

The boy looked up to see his father smiling, his hands gently placed on his son's shoulders. "I get scared, too. I been plenty scared before in my life."

"You have?" Vincent's eyes widened incredulously.

"Sure. Ever'one gets scared. I was a heck of a lot older'n you when I got scared in a haunted house. An' I always was mighty terrified of spiders growin' up."

"Them little ol' things? Even I ain't scared of _them!" _Vinny proclaimed proudly.

"See how much braver you are than me?" Gomer's expression suddenly became very subdued. "There's been lots of times when I got scared. When I became a daddy, an'…an' in the war…but you know what? When I came home tonight an' didn't know where you was, that was the scaredest I ever been in my life."

"Really?"

Gomer nodded. "Uh-huh. You are so important to me an' your ma, Vincent. If somethin' had done happened to you…you jus' don't know how special you are."

"So even growed-up Marines is allowed to get scared?" He ventured slowly.

"Well, sure." He smiled again at the boy. "Now, tell me. Why did you wanna go with Sergeant Carter so bad you disobeyed orders an' got yourself in a peck of trouble?"

"Cause I wanted to do somethin' you'd do. All I ever wanna do is be a Marine. I thought it was gonna be fun." Vincent looked down at his cap, slowly dusting it back off before putting it on his head.

Gomer grinned. Sometimes, his son reminded him so much of himself that it was spooky. "Vincent, I know you cain't wait to be a Marine. You try real hard to be all growed up. But son, you're gonna grow up fast. One day I'm gonna turn around an' you'll be as tall as I am. I know cause it sure came fast for me. An' bein' a Marine ain't all fun. You think that report me an' Duke had to do this mornin' was fun?"

Vincent shrugged. "Well…it didn't _sound _very fun…"

"An' I bet you didn't know that I envy you."

Vincent froze. This had been his father's most shocking statement thus far.

Gomer nodded emphatically. "You heard me, all right. Vincent Gomer Pyle, I envy you."

"W-why?" He stammered.

"Cause you get to do all the things I'd like to do, but I cain't anymore." Gomer risked a glance at Duke and Sergeant Carter, but they were both over by the jeep talking to Will. He turned back to his son. "You see, us adults got this thing called _responsibility. _So we cain't have as much fun as we'd like to. But when you's a kid, you don't got any responsibility. So you get to do more of the things you'd like to do, an' have more fun."

Vincent sniffed and smiled. "Gee, I never thought of it that way before."

"An' I mean what I jus' said. You're gonna be a purdy nice Marine 'fore you know it. But in the meantime, how about you enjoy bein' a purdy nice kid?"

Vincent threw his arms around his father. "Thanks, Daddy!"

"Come on." Gomer grunted as he slowly stood, carrying the boy in his arms. "Let's take you home to your ma. She's been worried sick about you."

As they approached the jeep, they saw Duke sitting in the back, Will in his father's lap. "Hey, Gomer." Duke smiled. "From what I hear, Vinny was quite the little hero. He found the creek and made a compass and sang songs and everything. Will said it really helped keep him calm."

Gomer smiled down affectionately at Vincent's head. "That's my boy. He knows his way around outdoors. He's a real Pyle, all right."

Vincent glowed under the praise.

"Come on, will ya? My wife's pot roast is getting cold!" Carter growled from behind the wheel. As usual, once the danger had passed, he was pretending he hadn't cared a bit in the first place. Edith mewed from the seat beside him.

"This sure is one hungry cat." Gomer picked her up and gave her to Vincent as he sat down. Carter slowly began driving the jeep back toward home.

"Cain we keep her?" Vincent gazed up at his father anxiously, hugging the cat to him.

Gomer smiled. "It's all right with me if it's all right with your ma."

With that, Vincent was fully restored to his former spirits. He asked questions about every button and level in the jeep all the rest of the way home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Oh, Gomer! You're home!" Lou Ann cried, running up to hug him as soon as he appeared in the doorway.

"An' look who I got with me." Gomer slowly led out a very sorry-looking Vincent, tightly clutching his feline friend.

"Oh, darlin' Vinny! What did you do? I was so worried about you!" She stooped down and squeezed him so tightly that the cat let out a plaintive mew.

"I'm sorry, Ma." He whispered.

"You should be! I thought…" She pulled back to look him over. "Vinny, you look terrible! What did you do to your skin?"

"It's jus' poison ivy, Lou Ann." Gomer put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and kissed her cheek. "I found him in the survival camp with Will."

"What on earth were you doin' out there? You could have gotten hurt!" Lou Ann exclaimed.

"It's a really, really, really, really, really long story." Vincent smiled ruefully. "Daddy already told me my punishment."

"He don't leave this street for two weeks." Gomer said, disappearing into the kitchen. "Where's Millie?"

"Asleep. I already sent her to bed." Lou Ann took her son by the hand and led him into the bathroom. "Am I gonna give you the best bath you ever had in your life, Vincent Gomer!"

"Aw, Ma…" He groaned, but smiled anyway.

-

A short while later, Vincent was already feeling better. His cut was cleaned and wrapped in a band-aid. He was washed and comfortable in his pair of pajamas. And his arms and face were slathered with pinkish-white calamine lotion. He couldn't wait to scare his sister with his ghoulish appearance in the morning.

He had just bounded into the kitchen to get something to eat, his mother on his heels, when he caught sight of his father sitting at the table, smiling down at the cat. He had already given her dishes of food and water, which she was currently devouring ravenously. In all the excitement of his coming home, Vincent had forgotten all about Edith. So had his mother.

"Vinny, where did you get that cat?" Lou Ann placed her hands on her hips and stared down at him expectantly.

"I found her. She was lonesome. I named her Edith, on account of she looks like Aunt Edith. Cain we keep her? Daddy says we cain if it's all right with you. Please, Ma?" He turned and gave her such a doleful look that she was forced to turn away.

"Gomer…" She arched a brow at her husband, beckoning him with her finger. When he stood, she quickly drew him over to a far corner of the kitchen. They leaned close together in conference.

"I didn't promise him anythin', Lou Ann. I done told him it had to be all right with you first." He whispered.

"A cat is a lot of responsibility, Gomer! Our kids are still purdy young."

"I always had pets growin' up for as long as I cain remember. Why, when I was Vincent's age, I had a dog that was as big as I was. I think it'll be good for him, Lou Ann."

"What if she belongs to someone else? Or has got some kind of disease?" She gestured expressively.

"We cain put ads up an' if nobody claims her, then we cain keep her. An' I cain take her to the vet we got here on the base first thing tomorrow mornin' to get her checked out." Gomer turned and smiled down at the cat. "Besides, it could be fun to have a pet around, an'…Goll-ly. She _does _look like Aunt Edith, don't she?"

Lou Ann finally smiled. She couldn't fight her husband, the perpetual animal lover, who had obviously already fallen for the cat. "Oh, all right."

Gomer turned to his son. "You hear that, Vincent? You cain keep her."

"Yay!" The boy cried, jumping up and down. He stooped down and hugged the cat. "You're gonna stay with us now, Edith!"

"All right." Lou Ann smiled at the trio. "Now, you cain have jus' one little snack 'fore it's to bed. All of you."

-

Later, Gomer had showered and dressed into his old green fatigue pants, leaving nothing else on but his dog tags. He emerged into the bedroom to see his wife already sitting up in bed, intently reading a novel by the light of a lamp situated on her bedside table.

"Hey, Lou Ann." He smiled and sat down beside her. "What you readin'?"

"Hey, Gomer." Lou Ann inserted a bookmark into her place, turning off the lamp as she did so. "Actually, it's this really excitin' story about a police woman who falls in love with a bank robber."

"Go-oll-ly. Does she know he's a bank robber?"

"Actually, she don't. At least she don't yet. But I think she's gonna find out, cause the policeman that's secretly in love with her found out that he was a robber an' wants to catch him in the act so he cain arrest him!"

"Shazaam!" Gomer grinned. "That's almost as good as seein' a movie, ain't it?"

"Actually, I find it more relaxin'. Especially after a day like this one." Lou Ann sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. "Oh, Gomer. What are we ever gonna do with that boy?"

He smiled, gently placing an arm across her shoulder. "He is quite a handful, ain't he?"

"Mmm." She nodded her agreement. "He must get it from your side of the family."

Gomer laughed. "He sure is a Pyle, all right. But you sayin' you never went around gettin' into all sorts of capers when you was little?"

Lou Ann smiled. "Actually, now that you mention it, Morgan an' I did go on all sorts of adventures back in Turtle Creek."

"An' I sure got into my share of trouble right here on this base."

"I guess it's in his blood, then." Lou Ann closed her eyes and laid a hand on his chest. "But you know what my greatest adventure's been, Gomer?"

"What's that?"

"This one called 'parenting' that I'm livin' out with you."

Gomer raised his eyebrows, smiling. "Mine, too, Lou Ann. Mine, too."

He looked down and watched her for a minute, contentment being his only emotion. Then he felt a surge of affection for the woman lying next to him and he leaned forward, his mouth seeking hers. She smiled and obligingly offered it up to him. He relaxed and laid back as he kissed her, the events of the day washing away until they seemed as if they'd taken place eons ago. Lou Ann stroked the back of his neck, reveling in the warmth of their embrace as she kissed him back.

Neither of them noticed a pasty-white Vincent enter the room toting a very large shoebox. He hopped up onto the foot of the bed and rested his chin on his hands, smiling at his parents. "Kissy-kissy!"

They both quickly broke off and drew apart, scooting to opposite ends of the bed. Lou Ann smiled, blushing a bright crimson. "What are you doin' up this late, Vinny?"

"Well, you see…" Vincent crawled up and plopped down against the pillows so he was situated between both of his parents. The shoebox lay on his lap. "I was in my room lookin' for a box for Edith to sleep in on account of she don't got one. An' I saw this one in my closet, so I opened it up an' you know what I found? My bird pitcher collection. I done forgot all about it. Daddy, you think you cain take me out again after my punishment an' help me get more bird pitchers? You know, like when you taught me how to climb trees to get good pitchers of birds an' ever'thing? You think we could do that again?" He opened up the lid and pulled out the snapshots, showing them to his mother.

"After your punishment's up, I don't see why not, Vincent." Gomer smiled down at the boy as Lou Ann studied the photographs.

"These are some very purdy birds, Vinny!" She exclaimed.

"An' that ain't all I found." Vincent quickly began pulling out his metal toy trucks. "Remember how you cain always tell me what make an' year my trucks are, Daddy? Cain you teach me how to do that? An' I cain play with these out in the yard with Will. Daddy, next time you're workin' under the hood, cain I help you? I'd like to learn more about cars, an' you know jus' about all there is to know about cars."

Gomer laughed. "Well, sure…"

"An' I'm gonna teach Millie how to play jacks an' old maid so that way we'll have somethin' else to play together besides with the wagon." He smiled. "An' I never did get to sing you my song! I'm gonna have to sing my song for you! An' there's somethin' else! Daddy, next chance we get, cain we go fishin'? I'd like to go fishin' again. That was a lot of fun. An' guess what else?"

"What?" Lou Ann gazed down at him lovingly, carefully setting his bird pictures back in the box.

"You was right about me growin' up fast, Daddy! I'm already startin' to lose my teeth! Look!" He opened his mouth and wiggled one with his tongue for them to see. "I'm gonna need dentures soon!"

"Oh, Vinny." Lou Ann gave him a small hug. "That's a baby tooth. When it comes out, a big boy tooth will grow in its place."

"No way." He grinned. "An' that's gonna happen to all my teeth?"

"It sure will." Gomer placed a hand on his shoulder. "An' when you lose 'em, you get to put 'em under your pillow for the tooth fairy, an' she'll give you money for 'em."

"Shazaam!" Vincent cried. "I'm in business! I sure am gonna like this! An' what about Edith? Cain she sleep in my room? I promise to keep it cleaner! I already got a spot for her box an' ever'thing! I found her, so it's only right that I get to keep her in my room. But Millie cain play with her too, even though she's my responsibility." He pronounced the word slowly, smiling at his father. "But even though I got responsibility now, I cain still stay up to watch _Happy Days, _right? It's been forever since I seen Fonzie an' Richie an' Potsie an' Ralph an' Joanie…"

Gomer and Lou Ann exchanged a knowing look over his head as he babbled on excitedly.

"You know, he's liable to keep us up all night." Gomer whispered, smiling.

"Oh, well." Lou Ann shook her head, her blue eyes twinkling. "I guess boys will be boys."

END


End file.
